Closure

When we parted, I put the blame on myself. I told you that we were never meant to be together, which I learned from you later on that you felt it too. I was the girl who had a tattoo, partied, used foul language like nobody's business that your parents will never liked. Your mom did treated me well. I just needed an excuse to set us apart. I said that our worlds will never merge together for both of us have big dreams, and so I told you to let me go and chase after it. I told you to fly high and made me proud.

I was right on not being suited for each other though. I blamed it on the barrier of language and maturity. I was also at fault for maybe misused you as a replacement for a broken heart. I told you that you are great man ad that out there, someday, someone will see you as her everything. That you will meant the world to her and being with her would be as easy as breathing. But at that time, I couldn't see eye to eye with you on so many issues, and I was afraid for what I foresee will come true.

I told you not to court me cuz I was a drama queen and I made a big deal out of everything. I was over demanding on things that you had yet to be able to offer me. I had big dreams and so did you. You said you didn't mind as we could compromise. I gave in to you. Months later I regretted. I digressed from voicing out my thoughts for so long cuz I knew it would do nothing other than hurt you. You knew I was distancing from you yet you kept fighting for your last chance. Trust me, you are a great partner and you will always be. One day your partner will appreciate it better than I did.

So you left. You left after a long debate with me on issues you believed you can overcome. You gave up cuz I was stubborn and determined that I was going to make decision, like I always did. It was out of love. A love that I swore to myself that I had fallen out of, or perhaps, one that I never fell into. You asked for a last kiss, but I returned you with a hug. Weeks later you came to see me again. I could still see the damage I left, and the hurt in your eyes. I was sorry.

Yesterday, I saw it with my own eyes. You were one step closer to achieving your dreams. And I admitted that, it was a big leap that you took. I couldn't have more respect to you.

For what it's worth, I wish you the best. In the near future, you will succeed. You will be a better man that you already are. And maybe, just maybe the reality will run through my head like the scenes of two songs. Avril Lavigne's Skaterboy and Katy Perry's The One That Got Away. I'll never regret, but I'll always be proud of who you've become.

How do I break these chains that bind me?

I build these thick walls around me, not because I want to, but because I have to.

It's a form of self defense mechanism, of which I have grown used to in years of practice.

Being stone cold makes you much less of a patronizing victim, for as the saying goes, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

If being shielded meant security, it potrays the fact that the less people know about you, they're less likely to attack you with you own imperfections.

The closer someone tries to get to you, the further you run.

Solitary is not an ommission.

But growing up in the most undesirable conditions is; and so you set your boundaries to keep yourself from going out of line.

I protect myself because I have to, for who else is gonna look out for me if it's not myself?

And of course I know these concrete will not sustain a lifetime, after all nothing's made to last forever.

One day these walls will tumble at the right time, to the right person.

I'll let you in, and it doesnt matter now who you are.

But let me have some time, I beg to differ.

I deem it necessary only because I foresee how thing turns out if I were to rush it, as always.

You may not comprehend this now, but I sincerely hope that you do in time.

Take things slow, allow some personal space for each other and let's not to a mountain out of molehill.

That simple, isn't it?

Yours,

The solemn wall camouflage.

Not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse.

I come hot, in the coldest way.

I want to go to the beach.

Lay down on my back with the dark sky laid out in front of me like God's canvas.

Your body lying next to mine, I'll put my hand into yours and let me fill the gaps in between your fingers.

With our skin so close that the heat radiated from your body warm up mine, in the serene starry night.

I want to count the stars with you, breathe in the salty air and put the insanity of reality in the back of my mind once and for all.

And when the drowsiness takes over, I'll place my head on your chest and close my eyes.

With your arms around me, I'll fall asleep listening to the sound of your heartbeat.

I want to do all that; instead of putting up with stacks of notes for 2 weeks of plain torture.

I'm envious of my family members who get to spend their weekend in Genting Highlands and its casinos, while I'm bored here with your absence.

Lift my torment when this is all over, alright?

P.s I have a few more posts coming up in time, and I've already have it drafted out in my mind. Well, I have to admit to the fact I blog best at times of exams, God knows why. That's all you get from me now. It's time to go back to my studies. Stay tuned people!

All I want to do, is to lose control.

Psst, check it out who else has a star inked onto the back of her neck.

It's Dr. Rebecca Gordon from Combat Hospital, I love tha gal.

Figured this would be a better post on my blog than the bloody vamp one, especially you know, on duh-big-day-of-my-life.

Cuz apparently half the country's citizens are celebrating it for me with a public holiday. *Vanity strikes*

It's not really that much of a big deal but, thanks for the wishes tho people. <3

Voots!

I swear that True Blood has the best adverts in the world. Their creativity is just tantalizing.

And what impress me even more now, is THIS.

Check it out yo, even TB's very own vamp hottie Jessica Fortenberry has her own blog, with video blog on the sides as well.

True Blood Season 3's very own QR code.

If you're an Android user, download the QR Droid app to decode; as for Iphone, well I don't give a damn. P.s it will take a while for the decode as it's not the normal boring codes we usually see, plus you get to twist you and your device tilted sideways like and idiot and hold the position for 1 minute or so, I'd say it's a win-win situation, cheers.

I'll be more than willing to bulk produce this kindda band aids, if there' a market need.

How strong would you like for your cuppa this morning, sir?

I'm charmed, nevertheless.

Remember to check Jessica's page out.

And yea, VOOTS = Vamp-woots!

All the world's a stage.

William Shakespeare declared the statement above.

I'd say, if you can't act on one, the least you can do is to have a good time watching the play.

The human mind must believe in something, so why not let it believe what it does believe?

If you were devoted in religion, it's never wrong to put your hopes in hands of the greater God.

Walk in faith, and faith shall guide you to victory.

I believe in passion.

My passion compels me to live for the things I love, and vice versa; to make my life worthwhile for the things I adore.

If there is no passion in your life, have you really lived?

Ask yourself, what have you been doing for the past 10 years to your life? Does your achievements contribute to your contentment, or it's just a trophy for you to showcase to the world?

Oops, it seems like I have diverted off my topic again, my bad. I swear to all the living organisms in the world that my brain does the greatest wonder of switching my thoughts into something else, and I ended up forgetting what I wanted to say in the beginning, damn.

Refer to this and this, here's the list of new TV series I'm watching for this Fall. Should you too find them interesting, lemme know. =)

Off The Map, S01. The complete season is made up of only 13 episodes. Similar to Grey's Anatomy as it's shown by ABC too, the medical-based drama sets its settings in the woods of Mexico. Interesting casts with intriguing plot. I do hope that a second season will be produced.

True Blood S04. A drama that has made a great leap since the premiering of its first season. i remembered back then it was more of censored scenes, and today albeit the slight presence of censorial, the suspense does a good job at satisfying the appetite of me, the vamp-lusting fanatic.

Alphas S01. From Smallville to Heroes, this is my utmost sci-fi addiction. Not only that the humans are equipped with mutant-like super powers, the series insert a lot of neurological and psychological factors in it, which I can easily related to what I learned before. I only wished that the casts are more attractive.

Bedlam S01. I've never been a big fan of UK dramas before, but I downloaded this for its horror-ghost plot and its setting in an old historical-looking asylum. The whole season consists of 6 episodes only, which is perfect for those who doesn't like to spend weeks waiting for new drama episodes.

Combat Hospital S01. The only series that I haven't found time to lay my eyes on still. Upon watching E.R, Mental, Private Practice, House M.D, Off The Map and Grey's Anatomy, I could only propose that I am indeed attracted to medical procedural series, well.

Find your passion, whatever it might be. Become it, and let it become you and you will find great things happen for you, to you and because of you. - T. Alan Armstrong.

J'adore.

做人做到那么现实，有这个必要吗？

Read the title, that's the least that all man that has taken somebody for granted needs to know.

And if one day people decide to shut you out, or take back own offer, do not be surprised for you have foreseen this day coming when you decide to pursue your realistic behaviors.

将心比心，总比利益来得重要。

人比人，迟早比死人。

Sarcasm seeks for a company, humor me?

Those who know me well would realize that I've been busy completing assignments that come piling up so abundantly like the stars in the sky in the few days.

It's absurd to fathom that people from my semester are learning the curriculum of what my seniors are learning, I mean isn't that unfair for we have to familiarize ourselves with double the study load that others have to?

I digress. If procrastination is the thief of time, apparently it steals mine too.

Anyway my seniors had their conference held the other day, and being involved in performing the relaxation technique, I was also utilizing my time well by glamorizing my smartassphone.

After learning from him that Iphones are actually modifiable into Android interface, I tried my hand at turning my Android into Iphone's as well. It's not that perfect still as all the apps I used are free, and that my phone is still unrooted, so..well.

The screensaver/ unlock screen that I've been yearning for some time. Still incomplete tho, as there is still no 'Slide to Unlock' captions in the slider bar.

The Apple icons are small in appearance as compared to that of an Iphone. But it's acceptable for I love the unique thumbnail icons.

This is just the normal menu with some unknown origin, but I do fell hard for the home button <3

The conspicuous feature that my app supports: when you swipe across the contact page, it actually turns into a 3D cube that swirls 360 degree till you reach your destined option.

The bubble conversation style, like finally. I reminisced of the time of how much I hated my old boring Android 2.2 list conversation style, and no I don't miss it at all.

And lastly, the Iphone keypad. Which is not that good in functionality anyway, just that it looks good, like the keyboard of Sony Vaio laptops.

I realized that I actually like the way of how Iphone presents its user interface, it may not be as user-friendly as Android, but hell, it has a classy elegance touch to it that I love much. Someday, Incredible will coexist with Iphone, but only when I'm moneyed. Cheers.

Sarcasm refers to my inner self searching for the least fraction of humor left in my bones, I can feel that it's draining from me as the world establish me with cruelty. With the passing of each day, I can feel the rage just boiling inside me. Sometimes, I desire to be a sadist.

Our Final Hope - Steve Jablonsky

I did mention that Transformers 3's The Score was great right, but I never had the time to search it up and post to ya all. So here it is. One of my fave, but frankly, I love it all, every soundtrack in the album. Enjoy.

Somehow I wished that there was orchestra back in my secondary school days, else I wouldn't be stuck choosing the second best option, chinese orchestra though.